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Filed under African Americans
First and foremost, if Gingrich were a Black Man, his experience in America would be different. I am speaking from the perspective of an average, everyday citizen who makes under $100,000.00 and has no political influence. Just your “Joe” next door who gets up every morning and goes to work. For example, if he had children out of wedlock this is what he would be enduring:
This past Tuesday (17 Jan) at the Chesapeake Juvenile & Domestic Relations District Court in Chesapeake, VA. I originally had an support order for 675.79. The childs’ mother filed a motion for an increase in her child support after I returned from doing 15 months in Afghanistan. For the last past four months, she wanted me to provide my LES to my daughter’s school/daycare so that she could receive an discount for my military service. She receives one already for being a federal civilian service employee, I asked her if I provided the daycare with my paystub would the amount be deducted from my child support. You already know what that answer was. I then asked her to provide me with a copy of her weekly or month bill and her paystub. She refused. The school of course couldn’t give me a copy of the bill due to privacy act guideline so I didn’t even ask them. She even had the audacity to comment that I didn’t give her any of my tax free earnings from my 15 combat tour. I reminded her that I wasn’t her husband and never would be. I also told her that she gets the earned child income credit as well. I was penalized for being an E8 over 20 years, with a housing allowance, and allowance for subsistance ($7,479.69). The year to date gross is $90,627.64. Her monthly gross pay as an GS5 step 1 is $2,696.58; making her yearly salary of $32,358.96. Based on the Common Wealth of Virginia’s Child Support Guidelines, my portion of support for my 4 year old daughter is $1,140.39 and her portion is $468.61. The “system” did take into account my $825.00 support order for my 8 year old, and the $15.86 that I pay for TRICARE Dental. But that was it! When the mediator asked her if she wanted to negotiate, she refused based on: (1) when she asked me to enroll my daughter in an on base child care facility, I refused. I refused at the time, because my child would have to resided with me. Additionally, she wouldn’t have been able to pay the weekly fees that she would have been charged due to my rank. (2) she stated that my child is reading on a Second Grade level, her medical condition requires attentiveness, and she is comfortable with the small classroom size at this Academy/Daycare. (3) I’m not involved in my daughter’s life because I didn’t get her any X-Mass/Birthday presents. So I explained to the mediator that prior to leaving for Afghanistan in November 2009, I left X-Mass and birthday presents with a mutual friend. During my 2010 time in country, my sister’s did the shopping and FEDEX’d the X-Mass and birthday gifts to my daughter’s house, and while I was sitting in that seat speaking to the mediator – gifts were in my vehicle.
I appeared in front of the judge in my Service Dress Blue uniform. I didn’t expect preferential treatment just because I’m in the military. It is a know fact that in states were the military is the dominant ecomonical stimulate for jobs and revenue there is biasness anyway. Just ask any man who has been stationed or has retired in the Commonwealth of Virginia. They love the military industrial complex, but its a “double-edged” sword for a male servicemember residing there who might be undergoing a divorce or dealing with increases in child support payments. I feel that child supprt itself isn’t for the child. It is for the custodial parent, which 99% of the time is the mother. Unless the mother is smoking crack or doing something hideous and it’s posted on YouTube or FaceBook, she will always be awarded custody of the child. When the judge asked the Petitioner if she was okay with the increase the comment out of her mouth was, “Thank you. I can now pay my daycare.” She was receiving $675.89. How was she not paying for the daycare expenses? At $144.00 (give or take) a week, her previous child support amount did cover the daycare. The problem is that she still wants her cake and icecream. She has her mortgage, car note, home/car insurance, student loans, monthly utility bills, and credit card debt (come on folks you know that all women have a few credit card bills:)), and last but not least the weave, nails, and pedicure expenses. Once I was given the opportunity to speak, I humbled myself to the Judge and explained to him that the new amount would endure an financial hardship based on my monthly expenses for being stationed in the DMV (D.C./Maryland/Northern Virginia) area. In his reply to me, he simply focused on the updated Commonwealth of Virginia child support state guidelines formula. When I asked if I could present to the court my monthly itemized bills, he reminded me that basically the child support guidelines were simply the guidelines and it alleviates the courts involvement with making a decision. I was under the impression that as a Judge, he could always use his discretion. Not the case. Furthermore, he awarded her the increase retroactive to when I signed the return receipt card. This was done on November 23, 2011. So I had to make up November – December 2011 and January 2012 difference between the old and new child support amounts. That came out to $1,393.50. That was mailed to the Treasurer of Virginia in Richmond, VA. I didn’t want to experience the heart ache of having “arrears” again.
So much for the unity between black men and women or the focus on the black family. It’s sad that in 2012, black men are being financially, emotionally, and even physically burdened with the anger and hate from
black women. When we were segregated as a race, this wasn’t the issue.
Men took care of their kids and were not reduced to being simply an employer for black women who refuse to work or better themselves. Everyone is looking for a payday based on what happens in Hollywood. Every man doesn’t have the income and assets equal to that of an NBA/NFL basketball player. When it comes to fatherhood, men have no rights or so say with their income or their ability to engage in an loving relationship with their children if, they didn’t marry the mother of their children. Even get a divorce and the tables turn on the father quicker than a women running after an paycheck at the NBA All Star Weekend farce. When will Tyler Perry tell this story? Probably never, because his fan base and supporters are angry Black Women who feel that a man should marry them because they conceived or in a majority of cases today (as in mine) deceived him by having an unwanted child. Any woman over the age of “30” that has a child does so intentionally. That is the new “comeup” today with women of all races. Not the married ones, but the ones who are single and are looking for some financial security and stability.
Dr. Boyce & Yvette – Keep the dialouge going. Let’s see how many people reply to these comments. At the end of the day, this will be the next “Million Man March”.
/s/ $6.95 GOES A LONG WAY FELLAHS………………..
Virginia, for me, was a terrible state in terms of how military members were treated. I can remember law enforcement officers hiding outside the gates of Naval Bases,on Friday afternoons waiting to pounce on Sailors trying to get home to families for a weekend. There were also speed traps in little towns and Justices of the “Peace”, who couldn’t wait to levy maximum fines for any violation. I could never quite understand why our military and political leaders allowed these biased behaviors to go on and then I remembered a sobering fact: Look how long they allowed “Official Racism” to go on.
I have the utmost empathy for this courageous man and low regard for this former paramour. Ethnicity has nothing to do with evil, selfish, greedy minds of the female species. Women always hold the most vulnerable for hostages, the children! The monies in support most times are essential for manicures, pedicures, wigs, extensions and facials. I personally know of a so-called “mother” that used every check for personal use with the father away in the military, the son living with his maternal grandfather who handled the child’s daily living including education and received not one dime of the support monies from birth until eighteen years of age.
The judicial system in family court is extremely biased against the fathers. I would never advise going to court without counsel and word of mouth will more likely help you obtain an aggressive attorney, preferably a female with an proverbial axe to grind against females with their legal knowledge. I know for a fact, my attorney who happened to be female, verbally and legally slapped the piss out of my paramour and I received custody. To show the court my benevolence, I did not apply for child support, thereby having full control of visitation. Although I was liberal but also unyielding to anything she felt an entitlement as a mother. There were times she tried bucking the system, I politely invited her to lavish affection using her facial mucous membrane while messaging my sphincter muscle.
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