Dr. Boyce Thought of the Day–1/5/12

Random thought – if you’re frustrated about a problem you can’t solve (ie. relationships, professional, etc.) and your friend gives you advice that is not fun to hear, are you likely to absorb that advice or get angry at the messenger? When I learned to do the former and not the latter, I was better able to achieve most of my goals. If you are a person who consistently kills the messenger for sharing uncomfortable truths about yourself, your friends aren’t going to tell you what you might really need to hear.

Perhaps it might help to let go of your fragile ego and start opening up the lines of communication.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Dr. Boyce Thought of the Day–1/5/12

  1. Renelda Moorehead

    Friends are supposed to be well-meaning. But I have found that most well-intentioned family or friends have hidden agendas when helping with issues.
    The other scenario is that friends simply do not have the answers to our problems. If I have a toothache I go to a dentist. See your primary care
    physician for a referral to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist will hear your problem and probably triage you to a clinical psychologist, who is specialized
    in dealing with your particular situation. That saves one from the residual effect of dumping or burdening friends or family with what they cannot solve.
    This way also stanches gossip. Many, including myself, have learned this route ‘the hard way.’, and after the fact.

  2. WizardG

    People are mentally overwhelmed with many psychological issues they are not aware of. I have spoken to a few of my friends about the mental illness that is at the root of many of their problems, but their conditioned fixated mindsets are so cluttered with preconceived notions and uninformed contradictions that they are unable to properly sort out or accept incoming advice and/or information. Most of them would have just as difficult a time listening to and heeding the advice of a professional. Many people have a short attention span, selective memory and already preset ideals that are generally formed from the input of family, peers, public propaganda and media, during their brain developing years.

    When that is topped off with their overwhelming and erroneous religious indoctrination it can cause them to activate a total intake shutdown and rejection of conflicting information and ideas. Furthermore those without proper education can be functioning in a mentally distorted state of reasoning and logic, while substituting proper information with snippets of fractured, fictitious and superstitious clutter! This is why many are open to self medication, alcohol, drugs, smoking, and overeating. This may lead to the possibility of physical abuse to themselves or others.

    Most of the people I know either believe they have all of the answers they need and are not open to suggestions, advice or warnings. Some of them say they only want to be happy and shut down to anything that sounds negative and sad, no matter how significant and important it is to their general lives. Some people are geared to argue the opposite of everything said to them.

    So trying to help a “friend” can often lead to a loss of friendship altogether, because many people are not properly conditioned or mentally attuned to the concept of what the machinations of true friendship entails.

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