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Filed under African Americans
There is overwhelming anecdotal evidence that a single black woman cannot raise “normal” contributing, law-abiding children, outside of a tight extended family and the necessary resources. No news here. From the time she makes the choice to be a single mom, her children are doomed to a life of exposure to dependency on the welfare state, low income housing and bad schools, violent crime, transient “father” figures, poor employment prospects, deteriorating communities, the prison industrial complex, and the list goes on. Until black girls and women start making better choices of sexual partners and life choices, this cycle will continue ad nauseum.
Why are black girls and women the only ones that have to shoulder the bulk of responsibility when it comes to sexual partners and life choices? It takes two to create a life but men are given the option of signing off when they get tired. Men need to stop having sex with women unprotected, stupidly believing that these women are using birth control. I have a 19-year-old son and I constantly tell him not to put the future of his unborn children in the hands of some crazy, unstable woman just because she has a big butt and a smile.
Your comments are interesting, especially your definition of “normal”. Also you stated that if a woman ” chooses to be single”, I doubt most women choose the burden of single parenthood. Unfortunately, lots of males, not all, males make that choice for us. I agree a two parent house is best for raising any child, but unfortunately life situations move couples in different directions. I raised males, that are educated and have done everything I’ve asked them to do. Both parents were married, but in the end it was the Mother’s job. I do realize that every situation is different, but as we know there are always exceptions. We as parents single or married have to do a better job raising our kids with good morals, and sound advice about education, sex and being responsible parents. Mothers need to preach to our sons the responsibility of fatherhood. On the other hand men, single and married, need to do a better job of having sex with women and young girls, when they know the potential outcome.
My question is this, why do it take male to raise male child? And half of male agree with this. When over half couldn’t stand the test time. They don’t have marry or live with the women to raise their male child. Just be a man and raise your child. And stop blaming women for your failure for not have the staying power to do your job of raising your males. Please when did football make a man? No matter if she a good women or bad one, she stuck it out with the children, be it male or female. And I bet that percentage men who agreed with the statement it take a male to raise a male child, the majority was raised by a women.
I have read all of the replies to the question presented, but yet have to read a strong infinite reply on: Can a Woman Raise a Boy to be a Man without Male Intervention? Most Men Don’t Think So. All of the answers sound a tad bitter and all about having “sex” and making sure you have the right partner. Sure, that has it’s place too, but the question yet remains. I am one of the many women that can say yes, a woman can raise a boy to be a man without male intervention. I raised three (3) boys to be men…strong black, educated, banging career minded and taking care of your family type men. Yes, they are married and yes still with the same woman. I taught and gave them choices and it was left up to them to make those choices. I had to be a role model for them too by showing them you have to work for what you want and not take, stay with your family, your children need you. I kept them before the Lord and instilled in them His ways and laws. A CHILD WILL ONLY DO WHAT THEY HAVE BEEN TAUGHT.
I as a single parent did not want my sons to be failures. I had to stand my ground with them; I am your friend, but first and foremost I am your MOTHER and I will stand up for you when you are right and if you are wrong I will let you know that you are wrong. They are not perfect by no means, but I can say I am a proud single parent.
I have five children, two are female and I was told by their dad that I could not raise them by myself. I DID! All five work for a Fortune 500 company; director, manager, computer engineer. So, men should think twice before posing that question because a woman can raise a boy to be a man just as well as a man without male intervention…give the single moms their props men. It can be done!
Your reply sounds like you are very angry with women and it does not relate to the question at all. Come on, you were probably raised by a a single parent being that it was your mom and she probably did a good job.
I retract my statement about all the responses sound a tad bitter. Only just you Madmax because I believe you tried raising a male and failed and the woman took over and succeeded.
Some things to think about:
1) AA men have said the obvious: A woman cannot raise a boy to be a man.
2)Most AA males are raised by women so therefore they attest to their lack of manhood.
3) (If most AA men are not real men) Our daughters do not know what to look for when finding a spouse. Since their fathers were not men and neither are their brothers,uncles, cousins etc.
3)Most women are NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO FIND a good choice
(even if they could spot one)so they will try to work with what they have .
4) They will have children and the men will leave them OR stay and do a sorry job because they are not men
5) so WE will go on to raise their boys to not be men…. so what is the solution?……
JRBAllen, as a succesful black male I agree with you. I agree that a STRONG WOMAN can raise a boy to be a man. But a weak individual, may it be a male or female, will fail to raise a boy to be man or a girl to be a woamn. We need to stop looking at gender itself and weigh the character, ethics, and moral of the person who is raising the said child. “A Furstrated Black Woman” come on lets re-vist those 5 things to think about and focus on what I just said! Remove the gender from the equation and look at the individual.
If a Man is willing to be present and does this by proving it by example, then nobody should step before him and assume his position because he has claimed it by simply showing up. Stand aside and him allow to the good Lord’s magic . This is so simple , all a man ask for is the opportunity to be himself. On the average, a man is not assuming the roll as MOM. Why can’t woman respect real men for being positive figures in their leadership as male without female interruptions. I would just simply like my woman to know that I got that covered as well as other challenges I don’t want her to focus upon. Trust me as being a MAN
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