Do Black Women Have a Preference for Thugs? (Video)

thugs

In this episode of Your Black Love, Deborrah Cooper and I ask whether or not black women have a preference for dating men that are not good for them.

Do you know a woman who dates one bad guy after another and then seems to spend all of her time whining about the fact that she can never find a good man?  Yea, I have too.  Well, it seems to me that, at some point, we must all have some degree of accountability for our relationship choices. 

Deborrah and I debate the issue in the video below – enjoy! 

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11 Comments

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11 responses to “Do Black Women Have a Preference for Thugs? (Video)

  1. Pingback: VIBE AND VEGAS SHOW: DO BLACK WOMEN HAVE A PREFERENCE FOR THUGS? « The Vibe and Vegas Show Podcast and Blog

  2. I have to disagree with a couple of things I’ve heard here. First, teenagers are not stupid. secondly, the problem is not specific to the hood, or the result of the fact that the judgement of these women were tainted by a unique environment in the hood. These women simply came into contact and fell in love with the wrong men. It’s as simple as that.

    There are a couple of other factors at work here as well. First, the way that manhood is defined in this country – not just in the hood, but throughout our society. Americans are socialized to admire brawn over brains. We’ve never gotten over that “old West” mentality. That’s why we give banquets for the school’s football hero and few even know the school’s Valedictorian. It’s also why the nation praises the memory of Ronald Reagan, who should have been impeach and jailed for both treason and drug trafficking, and remember Jimmy Carter, one of our most brilliant and compassionate presidents as weak. It’s all about preparing us to give up our lives for Exxon Mobile.

    And finally, it has a lot to do with forbidden fruit. It’s the very same principle that causes some White women to go after Black men, and vice versa. What we tend to want most in life is what we know we shouldn’t have, and is hardest to get and/or maintain. That also explains why a person will pass by 50 stores with $5 t-shirts to go to Beverly Hills and buy that very same t-shirt for $200. It’s as simple as that.

  3. Oh, and Boyce.

    About the girl that you were in love with, the problem was, you just made yourself too available, while she probably had to win the gangster over. Again, what we value most is what’s hardest to get. Think about your own friends for a moment. I’ll be willing to bet that the one’s you value most are the one’s who don’t cater to you.

    By the way, the very same principle applies to politics. That’s why the Rush Limbaugh has more clout with President Obama than Obama’s base. Why should he worry about his base when they’re already in his pocket? Psychology 101.

  4. bob

    Black women who attracted to “Thugs” are themselves sluts. That is why “nice guys” do not appeal to them. In fact, they are not qualified for a nice guy. These women are more aggressive than men in pursuit of sex. Meantime, the “Thugs” are often “pseudo-thugs” who know that sluts will be attracted to them. Same with body building. This “thug” thing is the foundation of the dysfunctional aspects of our community.

  5. Steven.

    Black woman are nothing but ugly sluts with baboon asses. I promote them being with thugs.. Maybe more of them will get shot.

  6. Stop making it out to be a black woman thing. EVERY race of women love the bad boy types. A guy with broken bones, tattoos, scars, muscles or I-don’t-give-a-f*ck attitude will always get play.

  7. Noreen Winningham

    I find the phrasing of the question very interesting. Perhaps media of all types in the U.S. cannot avoid the provocative, but here we have an opportunity for a true discussion. How might the comments be different if the question were phrased as “What attracts Black women to a man?”

    As much as contemporary living has removed us from our primal roots culturally, sexual attraction is a primal drive. Women, Black, White, indifferent are drawn to strength. The difficulty is in discerning male strength in the 21st Century.

    Women have to decide what they want from a man and too often our instinctual drives overrule practical considerations. This is particularly true in a society where we no longer have secure notions of what it means to mate beyond sex.

    Sometimes I wonder if Black women give “outlaw” men more play than they might, because of the escalating difficulty Black men have in getting an education, earning an adequate living, et.al. in order to live a different kind of life. AND, where are the Black male role models for some other way of being?

  8. Adrienne

    Michelle Obama is a black woman, ask her the question. All black women are not interested in thugs. There are classes of women, just as there are classes of people. There are women who have nothing but thugs to entertain them, and some of them are thugs themselves. Do not generalize the black woman. She is degenerated by the white race and do not need the help from this type of rhetoric. Stop hating and find yourself a stuck up woman with your same stuck up values. Do not like that do you, well, black women don’t like to be treaded on either.

  9. Beloved

    I am a black woman who has *never* dated a thug. I think highly of myself and therefore, there is no place for a thuggish man in my world.

    Grown women who are still attracted to thugs are still children exhibiting childish behavior. This thinking may have been ok when you were a teenager and thought the “bad” boy was exciting, but once you are grown, a woman realizes quickly that most of the “bad” boys from high school turned out “badly” in later life. And, if these women are about anything themselves, will not want that element present in their lives once grown.

    Having said this, even I personally know women who seem to be *stuck* in childhood and still, find being involved with “dangerous” guys….exciting. I have this one girlfriend who just won’t date a man unless he is a thug. And, her life is nothing but drama and more drama. But, she will tell anyone that she loves herself a thug and proclaims this fact proudly. I shake my head everytime she says it and think,”What grown woman is still saying something so silly?

    And, while all my friend’s men have swagger, her relationships inevitably go bad. Then, she wants to cry to us about the lack of “good” men out there or worst, criticize our men by labelling them as “boring”. I have told her and I will say it here: there are “good” men still out there (I have one) but “good” men generally won’t have swagger and bring danger into your life with them.

    So, black women still looking for and dating thugs….it is time for you to just Grow Up!

  10. Black Women have always been attrqcted to the “Type A” type personality. The agressive type male who is agressive and sometimes abusive. They consider this type of Male to have good leadership qualities, and is a better protector, physically.

    Black women are drawn to these type of males because of the absence of a strong male Role model in their lives. Consequently women who get attached to these types end up going through several of these relationships because they end up chosing the same type every time.

    Most of these type of males spend most of their time being controlling, rather than being productive. So few become good providers.

  11. Pingback: VIBE AND VEGAS SHOW: DO BLACK WOMEN HAVE A PREFERENCE FOR THUGS? | DR. VIBE SHOW

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